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Why do we seek pain, I wonder?
Its probably an urge when there's something so big, so powerful, so enormous inside your heart, yet you are unable to let it out - it refuses to get out of your mind, so it keeps on eating your sanity away.
Makes you wound and burn and explode inside even with an expression as cold as ice.
Makes you wanna scream, wanna cry, yet unable to.
Makes you wanna destroy something - the world, perhaps, yet its futile.
In the end there's only one thing you can do: giving pain to your unobedient self so it will learn its lesson.
This pain is mine and mine alone. You cant stop me.
Its probably an urge when there's something so big, so powerful, so enormous inside your heart, yet you are unable to let it out - it refuses to get out of your mind, so it keeps on eating your sanity away.
Makes you wound and burn and explode inside even with an expression as cold as ice.
Makes you wanna scream, wanna cry, yet unable to.
Makes you wanna destroy something - the world, perhaps, yet its futile.
In the end there's only one thing you can do: giving pain to your unobedient self so it will learn its lesson.
This pain is mine and mine alone. You cant stop me.
RIP my friend
The recent incident has finally sent me into this realization.
Pain is so intricate, and coping with the loss of a loved one is a selfish process itself: you will never be able to comprehend the pain unless you are the one who loses. Even when we all share the same loss, each of us reacts differently to death and employs personal coping mechanisms for grief. I don't ever expect to receive any sort of comfort from people who simply don't lose the same thing - same person I have lost; even people who have experienced loss would not feel the same pain as I do, since they are themselves and I am me. So please, please do me this favor and let me
Been a while
Hi. So I kinda dropped back here and realization hit me hard: wow, I haven't been on dA in AGES and my dA is all dusty now D: That also means I haven't drawn anything in forever, what a fail :"(
So...I figured I'll update something, even as stupid as this journal.
Life has been a massive joke to me. My grandma just left us, and I couldn't even manage to come with her to her final resting place because I was sick to the point I couldn't even move in bed and I had to take sick leave from work for weeks, again.
What the hell is wrong with those jokes, or did I do something wrong in my past?
Yeah, anyways, it's been a month and I just got bac
I'm not ranting._.
Do you know the feeling of waking up and seeing nothing but darkness?
Do you know the feeling of not being able to eat, not being able to sleep, not being able to do anything but lie on bed and cry all day?
Alone, I mean.
Perhaps I'm a drama queen.
Not like anyone can understand, anyways. It is my cross to bear. Mine.
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So it is decided that 2 dental surgeries will be coming after the blood test is complete.
Don't know what I should be feeling right now.
Oh, it's gonna be painful, yeah, great.
23rd years in life. HBD to me.
And the rain keeps pouring down. Not making things any brighter.
The number keep increasing every year yet the saying stays the same:
Happy 23rd birthday to me.
In another way of saying, hello, you are 23 years old already, can you see that?
23 years old. 23 years of living. Have I ever wondered, what good have I ever done to life? To people in my life?
I remember myself writing the same thing 4 years ago, my heart still so full of dreams and hope and life, and then them all being replaced by despair and pain the next year, and the next with bitterness, and to this very moment.
I remember myself stumbling.
I remember falling.
I rememb
© 2012 - 2024 Julye-chan
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That's poetry.